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The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
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The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
I am not young enough to know everything.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
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I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The truth is more important than the facts.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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